Tuesday, 15 May 2007

girls and boys

without a shred of a doubt, boys are easier to deal with and understand, especially when it comes to behaviour management. here's why:


i have this student that hates me. this usually doesn't bother me, as it is not always a good thing if the students like you, as it is often for the wrong reasons (eg i like you, you're so laid back, i like you, you always let us go early etc) but this student hates me for very personal reasons, and i'm not used to it. i'm used to falling out with students (and them falling out with me) but for work related reasons, eg missing lessons etc but this student isn't a bad student and i know she behaves in other lessons.
a few weeks back i sent her out of a lesson for saying something a li--ttle inappropriate. i had turned around to write something on the board, and when i turned back, i found she was on the phone (!!??))
me: Beth, put the phone away.
beth: (loudly) ok, i'm going to have to go, my b*** of a teacher is making me get off the phone.
so i very calmly told her to leave my classroom and not to come back until i'd spoken to her form tutor.
i had a meeting with her form tutor, who was surprised and said she was usually a nice quiet student (??). when asked what the problem was, it became a little clearer why she was treating me that way.
she said "this is probably going to get me into trouble, but i don't see why i should be taught by her anyway, she probably wasn't born in this country".
luckily, the college is very supportive of things like this, and told me i didn't have to have her back in my class and could just set her the work to do, but that isn't dealing with the problem so i let her back. she has been sitting at the back of her class with a scowl on her face refusing to talk to me unless pushed. she directs all her enquiries through the support staff, which is actually rather funny.
on Monday she came in and had done all the work and asked to be signed off. (the course isn't GCSE or A Level, it's actually a level one literacy course designed for people who achieved E or below in GCSE English) there is no exam, so i can sign her off as soon as she has done the work, which i did. i think she had done the work outside the class, just so she didn't have to come back. anyway, i wished her good luck for the future and we had a pleasant-ish conversation, but she couldn't wait to get out of the classroom! quite sad really, i just wanted to have one good lesson with this student and leave a lasting impression that was more positive. maybe i did, but i doubt it.


all you have to do to win the respect of your boys is have a nice car, it's as simple as that! i'm only half joking, my poor little car puts up with so much abuse every day :(

seriously though, i have a lot of boys that misbehave but at least they are not vindictive with it. i'd hate to teach in a school full of girls, i can just imagine how hard that would be..


iMuslim said...

Irony: an English girl (i assume) mistreats her teacher for being "foreign" (which you're not - again, assuming); this teacher who is teaching her the language that she should be fluent in, but has previously failed.


'liya said...

LOL I like what imuslim said!

Don't worry about a student not liking you, our job isn't for them to like us, it's to teach them - which you did by allowing her back to your class. I like to tell them "I couldn't care less if you guys like me or hate me, all I care about is if/what you learn" - then they have to shut up and think about that hehe.

What I mentioned before about Zero Tolerance, something like that would have a student suspended here, no questions asked - which is good in one way, in that it teaches them that there's certain things you can and cannot say/get away with, however I probably would have done the same thing as you. I think a second chance teaches more and also, that way, you get to have the last word :D

Saabirah said...

I get the feeling you try maybe too hard to get your students to like you...?

hema said...

imsulim- both those assumptions would be correct:)

liya- your comment made me smile, as that's exactly what i said to her. something along the lines of "you have my permission to say whatever you want about me before you come into my class, i really don't care, just don't do it in my classroom, and it worked! sitting at the back of the room with a scowl on her face actually helped her get on with her work as she had no friends to talk to.

saabirah- hhm do i care too much about my students liking me? that's an interesting point. you know the students had to do a survey today saying what they think about all their teacherrs. it's supposed to be confidentail but i can tell from their handwriting:) it shoked me, because all the naughty students gave me good reviews, but the goody two shoes students at the front said i didn't give them enough attention! that got to me a little bit, as i never thought of it like that, i really should reward them more for being good.
it's just, anyone can teach the good students and they will do well. i's so much more rewarding if you have a really difficult student and you somehow manage to get them through.
but yeh.. maybe i do care too much.
but i think, in general i hate it when anyone doesn't like me. i just sometimes come accross as nasty or stuck up, and i hate people thinking of me like that :(

just a temporary measure said...

definatly agree with you Hema (lema ding dong.... i wanna call u that toooo in the nicest possible way of course :))

Anyways at the youth club i work at in bury (which is mostly boys anyway we only get two girls) the boys behaviour is so much easier to read they're either occupied with watever they're doing, causing trouble or planning on causing trouble, and you can tell this from the way they act. Whereas the girls have multiple personality disorder particularly one of them her dress sense changes as much as her moods, one day she may turn up wearing trackies with her hair done and listening to rap songs, the next week she may turn up with an abaya head scarf and nasheeds, and in neither of the sutuations can you tell what mood she's in. She could be getting along with everyone perfectly fine and the next minute she can be shouting her head of at someone just because they wanna go on the computers......MPD indeed....i think it's cos women are more complex by nature anyway :)