yesterday was just an ordinary saturday, you know lounging around the house and then it got busy with lots of guests (in the way that only pakistanis know how!) and so barely had time to breathe!
at night, i had a conversation which touched me and made me remember something. you know one of those conversation which you know will stay with you because of how powerful it was?
i had the pleasure of telling a sister about the istikhaara prayer.before i carry on, i just wanted to talk about what it made me remember- my first experience of feeling at an utter loss and not knowing which direction my life would take.
i was 17 at the time and working hard at college to get the grades i needed to study Law at university. i had always been sure i wanted to do Law, encouraged by my teachers and parents who wanted me to do something great and deserving of the work i put into my studies (yes i was always a little nerd!)
and then one of my closest and dearest friends, who i respect a lot, told me that perhaps Law wasn't for me, and i would be suited to something else (i can't remember if she actually suggested teaching or not) at first i denied it and insisted law was for me and that was what i wanted to do
but gradually i started to think about teaching, and made some tentative enquires, and really liked the idea, but decided i wasn't cut out for teaching (especially thinking back to my own high school and mean some of the kids were to teachers!)
so, i decided to stick with Law and that's what i applied for and when i got my place at a very competitive university, i decided it was meant to be and i should be lucky as so many other people don't get that chance. i convinced myself i was doing the right thing.
and then one night, i was speaking to another dear friend online (why are all my deep and meaningful conversations always online?) and i told her about my "decision" and she said, you still don't sound sure so why don't you pray Istikhaara? and taught me the whole thing that night (i wonder if she knows how much of an effect that conversation had on me?)
i was so excited and ecstatic as i finally felt at peace, you know? i prayed Istikhaara for a long time, and got a bit impatient to be honest as i was still undecided. and then one morning i woke up and i was sure what i needed to do. i didn't have a dream, but i just had this certainty and felt at peace with the decision, even though it wasn't what i had wanted.
doing Law would have been easier because it was what people expected of me, and i knew it was what my dad wanted. but teaching was what was written in my destiny.
telling my dad this was my biggest concern as i didn't want to disappoint him, so i did what i always do when i want to tell my dad something big- told my mum and asked her to tell my dad:)
and to my great joy my dad said straight away, it's up to you and do what's best for you. alhamdulilah, he then said he had only ever encouraged me to do Law because he thought that was what i wanted.
so there you go. i put my trust in Allah and felt at peace with my decision straight away. of course i did, as who can guide me and understand my needs better than the One who created me?
i felt so grateful to Allah for granting me with the honour of telling this sister about istikhaara yesterday. immediately i could feel her excitement as she felt sure this was the best solution and the only way to make the important decision she wanted to make.
so, one of the reasons i am sharing this story with you guys is, i want you to please share your experiences of salatul-istikhaara and how it may have helped you to come to any decisions. i know it is a very personal thing, but i am hoping to show the sister the variety of experiences people have, and how it can affect people in different ways.