Thursday, 17 May 2007

adab

i've been neglecting this despite requests to put it on, and i know i've been using this blog mainly to waffle on about teacher stuff (why can't teachers switch off even in their free time?)
this one is all about the etiquette of entering your own house, and the houses of others. it was interesting to hear about the ettiquettes of being a guest, as the focus usually seems to be on how to treat guests.

anyhow, here are the notes.

When you enter your own house or leave, do not push the door violently or leave it to close by itself. Rather close it with gentleness, calmness and composure, as a muslim should be gentle with everything h/she does ( i think slamming the door in a tantrum would also come under this:) )


When entering your own home, make your entrance known eg by coughing or tapping your shoes so that you do not startle or frighten anyone (oh that's why people do that!)If returning from a long journey, give plenty of notice.

Seek permission before entering every room (even in your own house!) To avoid seeing someone in a situation which would embarrass them.

When knocking on someone else's door, do so gently. Remember it is not necessary for them to open the door.
Stand to one side. And do not look through the letterbox. Don’t be insulted if they do not answer the door and do not arrive at someone’s house unexpectedly.
Use your commnon name to identify yourself if asked.
Ettiqutee of phoning someone- Identify yourself (unless it is someone you phone regularly and your number is stored) and if a prior arrangement hasn’t been made to phone, always ask if they are free to talk- make it easy for them to say no.

Etiquette of conduct towards other muslims

Suspicion is haram and one should always think the best of other muslims (70 excuses..)
Do not backbite or talk about other peoples’ sins.
Don’t hang around public areas, eg after visiting the mosque as you may be disturbing people and restricting access to their homes.

just as a side note, it is really realy sad to see muslims fighting and arguing with each other, especially in public. and is it just me, or shouldn't the same rules apply to blogs/forums? there are too many examples of people having blog fights, leaving nasty comments (usually annonymously. sigh. i mean, if you don't like the blog, just don't read it! or, email the person if you have any issues. double sigh. (and rant over)

to remind you then, these posts are based on notes from a fantastic talk i attended on adab (manners) in Islam by mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al kathwari. there is another course on soon (i've just realised it might be this saturday!) there is a sister doing a much much (much much) better job than me at summarising the notes here so please take a lot (for one thing there are no annoying side comments like there are in mine!)

10 comments:

Unique Muslimah said...

This is so important to share, shukran sis! I know some people who investigate my house, each room, even open the wardrobes and fridge. These are "Muslims". I'm sure they know about these etiquettes but curiosty is a stronger desire for them! (I don't let them in my house anymore if you're wondering hehe).

hema said...

you know unique, it's funny as i attended the course with a very close friend, and we just looked at each other when that point was mentioned, as we constantly look in each other's fridges and make ourselves at home in each other's houses, but that's just because we are so comfortable with each other, and i see her practically every other day! and i wouldn't want her to be any other way when she came over, you know :)

so, i don't know maybe, there is room for negotiation with these ettiquettes, depending on circumstances. then again, as you said you could be invading someone's private space without realising it.

'liya said...

"it is really realy sad to see muslims fighting and arguing with each other, especially in public. and is it just me, or shouldn't the same rules apply to blogs/forums? there are too many examples of people having blog fights, leaving nasty comments (usually annonymously. sigh. i mean, if you don't like the blog, just don't read it! or, email the person if you have any issues" --- and that my dear, is EXACTLY why I decided to get comment moderation. It's a sad world when you have to moderate comments and can't allow free speech on a personal blog because of a few rude people who ruin it for others. 'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all' isn't being taught in the homes anymore apparently.

Unique Muslimah said...

Close friends, that's okay as long as you're both comfortable. Bas those I talked about were just visitors, loool. I should be a human behaviorist, I can pick up a lot of pointers :p

Hey this is for you in case you haven't seeeen itttt:
http://uniquemuslimah.wordpress.com/poetry-for-regular-readers/

xxx

Anonymous said...

tut tut....u missed out BIG time on part 2 sis....

we covered:
adab of condolences
adab of weddings
adab with non muslims
adab of conversation (again)

Saabirah said...

Can you please email me the adab al mufrad notes that I missed so I can post them all on my blog?

hema said...

unique, noone has written a poem for me before, i'm so touched. i had a big grin on my face when i was reading it and everyone was looking at me stangely but it was worth it!may Allah reward you for your efforts in spreading love through the written medim.

annoymous- is this soul scipture? because i'm hoping to pick up the notes from your blog.

saabirah- the notes are high priority on my list, i promise. just need to check a couple of things. also won't be able to make it tomorrow. this weekend has turned into family weekend. when are you getting your phone back?

Soul Scripture said...

Asalamualaikum wahrehmatullahi
Seems alot of people didn't turn up, hoping to get the notes on my blog. SubhanAllah, there is no comparison, and my notes are no where near as beneficial as sitting and benefitting live from the speaker (may Allah be pleased with him Ameen)...

Notes for day 3 will not be up for another 3-4 months, as i am still to finish day 1 :)

so yep, y'all missed out....life permitting, notes will be up before ramadhan :)

Wa'alaikum asalaam wahrehmatullahi

PS: Please leave feedback on the course if you attended even one part. Copy paste this link:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=886327381658521363&postID=2236435157203587818&isPopup=true

hema said...

i can't seem to open the link, but will keep trying, i know what blogger can be like.
i know it's not the same, but will look forward to reading your notes. i also wanted a copy of the book,but can't seem to find one anywhere, even online it is out of stock. any ideas?
jazakAllah

soulscripture said...

yes, its out of stock in uk.

try USA Islamic books shop websites, they have them.

there is also a more detailed book, that i have a link to on the blog, if u can't get the islamic manners one.

If u can't find the links, let me know and i'll post them up sumwhere.