one of my students said to me today "how come you never shout or get angry?"
i thought this would be a good a dawah opportunity as any, so answered "well, it's against my religion to get angry"
he then proceeded to give me a list of muslims at the college who are notorious for their lack of restraint in this department.
anger management is a big problem for some (but not most!) of the students at my college, and they know it. in a recent survey conducted to find out what activities they wanted for enrichment, anger management classes were in the top three (the other two were driving theory and sign language, in case you're interested!)
i think a lot of the problems with the resit students (where the problem lies) is that they are used to being told they will fail, or have often dropped out of schools to avoid such comments, so get very defensive if they think they are being put down in any way. which is why i'm careful to avoid using insults as a form of discipline- believe me it does happen! but one of the things my students cannot say about me is that i'm patronising (i'm sure there's plenty of other things they say instead!)
i'm coaching one of the girls in my tutor group to count to ten in order to calm down, instead of thumping the wall until she bleeds, or swearing at the teacher while storming out of the class- both of which have been done in the past! i did try and suggest meditating at one point, which met with a sceptical roll of the eyes. oh well.
i am not by any means saying i'm perfect in this department, and these posts are meant as a reminder to myself first and foremost. in fact, i'm thinking back to a couple of days ago, when i was unable to control my anger in a key situation, and as for shouting- i would most likely lose my voice if i even tried! but i do try and follow the sunnah of staying silent when angry... most of the time, especially when it comes to pointing out someone's fault .. they are aware of it anyway usually and don't need to be told.
anyway, if that girl had been muslim i would have told her to make wudu,as it really does work. as the prophet sallahu alayhi wasalam said "Anger is the effect of shaytaan and shaytaan was created from fire. And water extinguishes fire"
Allahumma-ghfir li dhanbi, wa adhhib ghayDHa qalbi, wa ajirni mina sh-shayTaan
‘O Allah, forgive my sin, remove the anger in my heart, and protect me from Satan.’