question: is telling the truth always the wisest thing to do?
scenario: if your potential/ spouse asked you about previous relationships back in the "jahiliya days", or if you had been "in love" with anyone else, would you tell him (her) the truth? and if so, would that be the best thing to do? and would you ever ask that question? would you offer the information voluntarily? and if so when?
me being me (ie always sitting on the fence!) i can see the advantages and disadvantages of both.
adv: everything is out in the open, it can't come back to haunt you later on, you're not at the stage in your life anymore so have nothing to hide, you'd want to know so it's only fair you offer the information too, he may find out anyway (either through someone else or by accident, there is no point lying as then your relationship would be based on a lie, a clear conscience if you don't have to lie about it.
disadv: jealousy,shaytan may cause evil whisperings and you wouldn't be able to let go of the information and let it rest, he belongs to you now so the past doesn't matter, everyone makes mistakes it's between you and your Lord and no one else's business, you may lose respect/ trust for the person, there's nothing you can do about his past so you may as well live in ignorance of it, it can be thrown back in his/her face during arguments.
so what would you do/ have you done? it would be good to hear about actual experiences so that we (me!) could benefit. you can always write anonymously if you don't want to be identified.